just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
