Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
