i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
there's paper in my vomit.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
