i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
