I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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