That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize