just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
