Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
