He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
