I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
