woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
