So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
