I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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