It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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