i already hear my dad disowning me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
