I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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