if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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