Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
