She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
