do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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