we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
