I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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