Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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