My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
