Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Boobs are out for the taking
Randomize
