We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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