why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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