She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I want is dick and wine.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
