..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
