she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
