Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
