just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize