I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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