He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
