There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
