I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
did i just pee glitter
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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