I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
