I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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