Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
