so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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