you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
