fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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