That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am one with the molecules
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
