You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need to align my fucking chakras
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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