So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
