How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
