After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
