U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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