Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
