in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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