Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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