69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
