There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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