it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
