think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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