Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
dude. I can hear the air.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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