Your mouth is God's brothel.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize