So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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