Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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