Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
