I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
