You're so nebulous sometimes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
